Do you remember the first time you realized you were tall enough to ride the roller coaster at the boardwalk and how you begged your mom to let you go? Then, when you were waiting on line, how you held your tickets so tight that your hand began to hurt. And as the line got shorter and you moved closer to the front, you couldn’t control your excitement that you began to sweat.
Just the mere anticipation of going to the top of the biggest hill and the nervousness and fear of coming down took your breath away.
Now think back to that same roller coaster and how that excitement was intensified when you were riding it with your best friend; that same friend who made it okay to be scared that you laughed until your stomachs hurt.
Now fast forward to present time and think about riding a roller coaster that never leaves the ground and you can’t get off. It is the craziest, wildest ride of your life but you often find yourself riding it alone. This roller coaster is called the “Never Ending Wave of Emotions” because there are so many more than just excitement, anticipation, fear and nervousness that accompany being a mother. And the heartfelt emotions that make you feel like you are at the top of the biggest hill become the bottomless lows faster than it took for the childhood ride to be over so many years ago.
Pride – When you find your eight-year-old son has taken it upon himself to set his alarm, get up, dressed and into the kitchen to finish homework that he didn’t have time to finish the previous night, even before you get out of bed.
Hopelessness – Feeling like there is no way out, it’s not going to end and just not wanting to do it anymore.
Inspiration – Because you want to be the best mother and set the best example you can for your children.
Disappointment – When you thought for sure you bought the perfect gift, the one that he’ll remember forever, and your child has absolutely no reaction - not even a thank you.
Contentment – When your newborn baby is asleep soundly on your chest and you know that you are meeting all of her needs.
Rage – When you become a screaming maniac and have lost control of your whole body; and even when your brain is telling you to calm down, you just can’t.
Hilarity – When you turn your back for a split second and the bowl of spaghetti is no longer dinner but a hat.
Agony – Seeing your child sick or in pain and begging God to take it from them and give it to you.
Naïvety – Going to buy diapers for your newborn and thinking the word jumbo on the package means for an extra, large baby not the size of the pack.
Frustration – When you realize that the whole day has gone by and you didn’t even have time to brush your teeth.
Joy – Watching your child laugh and scream in happiness because they are having “the best time ever”.
Anguish – When your child says they hate you and want a new mother because you wouldn’t make grill cheese for lunch.
Righteousness – Knowing whole-heartedly and without a doubt that NO ONE in this world can raise your child the way you can.
Delirium – When you feel like a robot because taking care of a newborn turns a 24 hour day into 3 hour intervals performing the same tasks over and over.
Resilience – When you are able to maintain the life of a 4 year old after being on bed-rest and then delivering your second child 7½ weeks early.
Hysteria – When you see your baby for the first time and you can’t believe this miracle is yours.
Distress – Always worrying that the way your behavior and the things you say are going to leave mental scars on their impressionable brains.
That’s why it is so important to have a support system - people, women, mothers - out there going through the same experiences at the same time. Having someone to ask advice of, share happy moments with, or cry to.
Just knowing someone will sympathize and empathize with you, makes this ride a little less lonely. We are sisters embarking on this emotional roller coaster and are all in this together. Know the importance of sharing from one mother to another and that relying on each other doesn’t make us weak.
It makes us better.